Either/Or

Resurrection and Wrestling

2009-04-12T05:18:00.000-07:00

Happy Easter, everyone. Although the following song is actually probably more fitting for Palm Sunday, I am posting it today. This is a song of human betrayal and weakness, the faithfulness of God, and God's pursuit of humans ("Got me in a sleeperhold"). Anyone who knows more about wrestling than I do (which is most everyone) and wants to elaborate on the use of the metaphor, have at it!

Please go to this page and click on the last song, "Sleeperhold," by Dolorean.
Here are the beautiful lyrics to read along--I have put a few of my favorite lines in bold:

"Sleeperhold" by Dolorean
I was there I heard the crackling of the palms
He came upstairs and had the curtains drawn
This is my body
Keep your stomachs full
This is my blood
Let's get drunk on soul

Got me in a sleeperhold
And you won't let me go
Blessed are those who have no clothes
For sunlight is their fashion
And blessed is he who sleeps on the streets
But his roof is sheltering sky
And blessed be the broken one
For whom grace daily unfolds

Got me in a sleeperhold
And you won't let me go

I was dropped down on a dirt brown field
I watched the sun rise over me
I wanted the heavens to open like a saloon door
But all I heard was a cock crow
What have I done? I cried inside
And my spine turned ice cold

Got me in a sleeperhold
And you won't let me go

I'm tapping out
I'm tapping out
I'm tapping out
Cause it's all too beautiful

I'm blacking out
I'm blacking out
I'm blacking out
But I don't want to go
I'm blacking out
But I don't want to go

**Thanks to Jeremy Huggins to introducing me to this song a few years ago.

Interpretations of the Mystery AND Physicality of Easter: Updike and Holbein

2009-04-11T08:16:00.000-07:00

My good friend Bill Rice is visiting this weekend for Easter break. His girlfriend, Anna, sent him the following Easter poem by John Updike. We were stunned. Amazed. Came close to tears on the reading of it. Updike is a man very concerned with the physical world--we can see this in his fiction which is often both sacred and profane. In this poem, he reminds us of the real life physicality that is also part of the Mystery of Easter. After reading this, Bill said that the poem reminded him of Hans Holbein the Younger's painting The Body of the Dead Christ in the Tomb. I don't know what to really say about the terrifying beauty of this poem and this painting. But great comfort and beauty is mixed in with the ugliness, terror, pain.

SEVEN STANZAS AT EASTER
by John Updike

Make no mistake: if he rose at all
It was as His body;
If the cell’s dissolution did not reverse, the molecule reknit,
The amino acids rekindle,
The Church will fall.

It was not as the flowers,
Each soft spring recurrent;
It was not as His Spirit in the mouths and fuddled eyes of the
Eleven apostles;
It was as His flesh; ours.

The same hinged thumbs and toes
The same valved heart
That—pierced—died, withered, paused, and then regathered
Out of enduring Might
New strength to enclose.

Let us not mock God with metaphor,
Analogy, sidestepping, transcendence,
Making of the event a parable, a sign painted in the faded
Credulity of earlier ages:
Let us walk through the door.

The stone is rolled back, not papier-mache,
Not a stone in a story,
But the vast rock of materiality that in the slow grinding of
Time will eclipse for each of us
The wide light of day.

And if we have an angel at the tomb,
Make it a real angel,
Weighty with Max Planck’s quanta, vivid with hair, opaque in
The dawn light, robed in real linen
Spun on a definite loom.

Let us not seek to make it less monstrous,
For our own convenience, our own sense of beauty,
Lest, awakened in one unthinkable hour, we are embarrassed
By the miracle,
And crushed by remonstrance.

A Good Song is Hard to Find: Sufjan, Flannery, and the Violence of Being Human

2009-03-27T07:24:00.000-07:00

Hi folks. Sorry for the looong absence from this blog--cross country move and new job will do that to you. I am planning on postin more soon, but for now, here is an article about Sufjan Stevens that I have just written for Catpult Magazine. Hope you enjoy it. By the way, if you aren't familiar with Catapult, make sure to check it out! Great magazine/online discussion. I am gearing up for Calvin College's Festival of Faith and Music , so will hopefully be blogging about that soon.

Kerouac the Pilgrim

2008-12-02T14:19:00.000-08:00

I wrote my undergrad dissertation (oh so many years ago)on Jack Kerouac, but haven't revisited his works in all those years. While writing an article, I just skimmed through some of the underlined portions of select Keruoac novels. I have always found this section from The Dharma Bums amazing. It lacks Kerouac's typical rollicking, flavorful style but the content/context are amazing. These comments from the novel's protagonist resonate with Kerouac's own movement from Buddhism back to Catholicism:
"But the night would come and with it the mountain moon and the lake would be moonlaned and I'd go out and sit in the grass and meditate facing west, wishing there were a personal God in all this impersonal matter."

The Death of the Author: Goodbye to David Foster Wallace

2008-09-14T08:05:00.000-07:00

How sad I was to hear that 46 year old brilliant novelist/ essayist/ creative writing professor David Foster Wallace was found dead this Friday night. I actually really don't know what to say about this, about the tragedy. That's all I can say. It is tragic on many, many levels--spiritual, intellectual; public, private.
So I will just say a few words about my limited, underdeveloped, yet very appreciative relationship with Wallace's mind and writing. I cannot claim to be one of the many brave souls who made it through Wallace's gargantuan, spiraling novel Infinite Jest, but I will do it one day.

I can say that I have a great appreciation for Wallace's talent as a poignant, humorous, ever-relevant essayist. I especially appreciate his extended critique of the dangers of the continual, contemporary usage of irony that is found in the essay "E Unibus Pluram: Television and US Fiction" from A Supposedly Fun Thing I'll Never Do Again.
Here is a brief excerpt:
"Irony, entertaining as it is, serves an almost exclusively negative function. It’s critical and destructive, a ground-clearing…But irony’s singularly unuseful when it comes to constructing anything to replace the hypocrisies it debunks".

This very Coupland-esque critique of our overdependence on irony to not only critique, but construct a way of relating, perhaps even build something of a phantasmic "worldview" shanty, is why I chose Wallace as a voice within my dissertation. He was really onto something with these critiques--headed towards something real, vibrant, amazing. Something true. The New York Times Obituary calls Wallace a "Postmodern" author, and of course, this word has perhaps no meaning. But it seems clear to me that Wallace was dissatisfied with the constructed ironies of some of his fellow authors--it seems that he was looking for something beyond that. He did not label this possibility of a non-ironic reality, but his distrust of irony itself was decidedly (dare I say) moral. Is it more postmodern to be ironic, or is it more postmodern to question irony? As Wallace points out, irony has become an hegemonic institution itself--he sees its operation on a public level. Coupland sees its operation on a private level as a "protective teflon coating" preventing us from actually getting to know one another. But I am curious to know what Wallace thought this irony was preventing us from doing? His thoughts about the dangers of irony are so similar to Coupland's, yet unlike Couplad, he does not explain the underlying reasons for his distress (Coupland's are a desire for community and, at times, faith in God). I know I am rambling, but as I reflect upon Wallace's writings. I can't help but want to wander around his mind (and maybe even his heart) and understand a bit more of the process that brought him to these beautiful moments of perhaps incomplete clarity. But, of course, I can't. And out of respect for him, I probably should not even entertain the thought for now. Perhaps I should just be quiet and leave you with some of his own words, an interview that will perhaps encourage you to go read more about and by him.

Excellent New Music: Presenting BOMBADIL!

2008-08-21T07:55:00.001-07:00

Guess what? I have found yet ANOTHER North Carolina band that I love,love,love. The endearingly nerdily named Bombadil (the good kind of nerds--Tolkien nerds)are from Durham/Chapel Hill and met during a Duke semester abroad in Bolivia (I think!). Their music is hard to describe--which in my books, is a very good thing. Eclectic, fun, full of energy and creativity. I can hear some influences: Bolivian traditional music, the Beatles (and the rest of the Britpop 60's for that matter), Irish music, postpunk antifolks avantegarde yada yada yada. You really just have to listen, and you have to realize that each song is quite different from the other. I have seen these guys live twice now, and what a treat it has been! It is rare to go see a band whose music you do not know and not get bored. The first time I saw these guys (having not owned any of their music) I was super sad when they left the stage. They have amazing stage energy, love playing music, and don't take themselves too seriously (you can get a sense of this from watching the video posted below). Although they are amazingly talented (which is obvious as you watch them scurry from instrument to instrument on stage) yet really, really nice, humble guys. These are the kind of musicians that I not only enjoy listening to, but want to support by buying their stuff, going to their shows, and encouraging others to do so.
*********************************
Enough of my rambling--check out two of their tunes and let me know what you think:
"Julian of Norwich" Mp3"Smile When You Kiss" Mp3
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My absolute favorite tune is "Jellybean Wine" but I can't find a (legal) mp3 online, so please check it out on their Myspace Page.

If you like what you hear, then be sure to go to Ramseur Records (Avett Brothers, etc.) and buy their album!! **After investigating, it seems easier to go to their site directly and buy their awesome album, "A Buzz, A Buzz".
I actually JUST found out that Bombadil were Paste Magazine's ARTIST OF THE WEEK a while back. Yay!
And if that is not enough to convince you (good grief--what's wrong with you!), then here is a photo of a band member brushing his teeth with a cat:

Goodbye to a Memphis Legend: No More Hot Buttered Soul

2008-08-10T20:28:00.000-07:00

Today is a sad day in my hometown, Memphis, and for many folks all over the world. My mom called me this afternoon just to tell me that the legendary Isaac Hayes passed away today--he was just 65 years old. I just wanted to post a few things in his memory; his music and persona capture so many of the things I love about Memphis soul.

I actually had the privlilege of meeting Mr. Hayes once at the Memphis airport. My mom spotted him and began to make conversation with him (she is NOT shy). He was very friendly, open, and, surprisingly, humble. His rich, deep voice was one of a kind--it was lovely to speak with him. He apparently used to have a girlfriend in Newcastle, which is where I was flying. And we also learned about the lady in Queens who made some of his funky clothing (my mom was full of questions and he was happy to give answers). I had my photo taken with him but don't know where it is--I will post it if found.
Next time I am in Memphis, I need to make my way over to Stax Records to check out all things Isaac related. Sadly, I missed seeing his Superfly Cadillac. Here is a photo of it--along with a blurb from Stax about it:

"This 1972 Peacock Blue, gold trimmed, two door, Eldorado Cadillac was The symbol of the style and cutting edge fashion that answered the question "What's Soul" in a way that only Stax and Isaac Hayes' could. The Stax Record Company gave Isaac Hayes this car as a gift for his unparalleled success in 1971 and 1972."
Here are two videos that I hope you will watch--check out Mr. Hayes' awesome outfit in the first one. Interesting that Jesse Jackson is on stage with him for so long.
The second video is a hilarious tribute to one of the kings of Soul. I love it.

Far From the Faulty Faith of this Modern Age

2008-07-12T18:50:00.000-07:00

I just rediscovered these amazing lyrics the other day. Although musically it is one of my lesser favorite Prayers and Tears songs, the lyrics consistently amaze and comfort me.

"Raise Up, You Celestial Choirs"
Raise up, you celestial choirs.
You're always running out of words to say.
Raise up, you disconsolate.
You're always giving up your faulty faith.

You will be lifted up into the glorious heights,
into the gracious night,
so don't waste your life.
You will be lifted up,
far from the faulty faith
of this modern age.

Raise up your invective, tome.
Call all the sinners, "Come."
They've all gone home.
Raise up, you with withered hearts.
Frail failure friend indeed unto the end.

You will be lifted up into the glorious heights,
into a gracious night,
so don't waste your life.
You will be lifted up,
far from the faulty faith of this modern age.
Away.
--The Prayers and Tears of Arthur Digby Sellers

Cormac McCarthy

2008-05-15T05:24:00.000-07:00

I just finished reading No Country for Old Men, and I loved it. I was wanting to read The Road for my first McCarthy, but it was checked out from the library. To be honest, for the first 100 pages, I wasn't sure sure. The fact that I had seen the film several months before seemed to be a real distractor--the book follows the film very, very closely. But once I was immersed into the book's world, I was still hooked--especially by Bell's monologues, which are slightly downplayed in the film (although still very important). I have a confession to make. I am now so intrigued by McCarthy's mind and world, that I actually joined Oprah's Book Club so I could see her interview with him (it's free to join!). This is the only television interview he has ever done. In the process, I found a great blog called When Cormac Met Oprah..., and it turns out that someone I vaguely knew from my distant Memphis scenester past is the author of it!
Here they are--Cormac and Oprah: what an unlikely pair.

If you are a McCarthy fan, I would love to hear your thoughts on which book I should read next and why--what's your favorite? And--confession time--are you now in the Oprah Book Club as well?! I leave you all with a great section from Bell's opening monologue in Chapter V-he's talking about the oral tradition of family history: The stories get passed on and the truth gets passed over. As the sayin goes. Which I reckon some would take as meanin that the truth cant compete. But I dont believe that. I think that when the lies are all told and forgot the truth will be there yet. It don't move from place to place and it dont change from time to time. You cant corrupt it any more than you can salt salt. You cant corrupt it because that's what it is.

The Religious Imagination: Page France, Sufjan Stevens, Half Handed Cloud, Danielson Family, and oh so Many others...

2008-05-12T21:45:00.000-07:00

Danielson Famile
In a follow up of sorts to my last blog post, I wanted to post this abstract of a paper I will be giving at an upcoming Popular Culture conference. More to come as I work on the presentation--should be fun!
"(Im)personal Jesus: Rebirth of the Religious Imagination in US Indie Rock"
In a recent article from Pitchfork Media, columnist Chris Dahlen claims that “ there is almost no strain of music as secular as indie rock” and asks why “hipsters hate Jesus”. In the context of an irony saturated indie rock subculture, in which the proclamation of “truth” is not considered sacred, but profane, a selection of musicians are creating songs that are deeply subversive and uncharacteristically countercultural in their relentless search for meaning. This growing community of indie rock artists has given birth to a postsecular musical Renaissance, creating music pregnant with questions about mystery, transcendence, religious wonder, and personal doubt. Musicians such as Sufjan Stevens, Page France, Half Handed Cloud, the Danielson Famile, and many others continually challenge the “truth” claims of what they see as a media-induced virtual paradigm that has become the surrogate for a “traditional” religious one. All of these musicians are well versed in the glossy texts of their culture; they ironically bring the products, ads, films, and shopping spaces that we call home into the foreground of their work. They use these postmodern texts as tools to not only critique the seductive metanarrative that has nurtured their own popularity, but also to create space for spiritual exploration. This combination of biblical and contemporary consumer metaphors opens up a new, relevant discussion of an “ancient future” faith. The rise, and surprising acceptance, of these faith-focused indie performers has also instigated the emergence of anonymous online communities that discuss what were previously considered to be “outmoded” ideas of faith. Along with the song lyrics themselves, I plan to read these virtual patterns of faith discussion within the emerging texts of chat communities, online reviews, and Mp3 Blogs. This shockingly earnest and imaginative music has instigated a new conversation, a reflexive dialogue, that continually re-interprets questions of both faith and doubt for its audience.

Paul Tillich, Sufjan Stevens, and Douglas Coupland: On Words That Need "Healing"

2008-05-09T09:25:00.000-07:00

I was just reading the introduction to theologian Paul Tillich's Dynamics of Faith. In discussing the term "faith" he says this: "It belongs to those terms which need healing before they can be used for the healing of men. Today the term "faith" is more productive of disease than health...Indeed, one is tempted to suggest that the word "faith" should be dropped completely...".I really like this brief point about the seeming "corruption" and decontextualization of religious terminology. So many of our theological terms have become much more associated with commodity, scientific rationalism, and strangely systematic "religion" rather than mystery, wonder and devotion. Tillich ultimately argues that we can't drop a word such as "faith" as there is no other adequate term to replace it--and we need a label for this mystical "thing" that we discuss. We must re-invest it with the meaning it has lost in such a confused cultural context. But how do we do this? I don't want to try and answer this now, but raise the question. One thing that I think is very much needed is a new amount of respect and excitement for the religious imagination. We need to rely more on metaphors and imagination--concrete, creative descriptions of mysterious spiritual realities, rather an attempt to concretize through abstractions, reducing these words to correlating "scientific" principles concerning God and belief.
All of this discussion reminds me of my blog's first ever post, which looks at how Sufjan Stevens provides an awe-ful, rich description of the phrase "born again". Take a look here. I also appreciate how an author such as Douglas Coupland attempts to re-invest the often completely secularized (in the mind of contemporary society) term "apocalypse" with its prophetic, colorful, frightening and beautiful roots. Of course, this discussion (of Coupland) calls for an entire new blog post (or a 325 page dissertation!).

Review of Fear of Flying

2008-05-07T14:23:00.000-07:00

I have obviously been on a DKD streak these last few months; please check out my new review on Identity Theory of his lovely new album.

Looking Through David Karsten Daniels' Rear Window

2008-04-09T20:47:00.000-07:00

This weekend I will be in North Carolina, first for a Christianity and Literature conference, then for a visit and interview with the guys from the Buhanan Collective in Chapel Hill.
David Karsten Daniels, one of the founding members of the collective and now a solo artist on Fat Cat records, has a fantastic new album called Fear of Flying coming out in late April. I have listened to the album over and over and love its slow, engrossing warmth--it takes patience, time, concentration to appreciate. I like music that takes time--and DKD's music, both minimal and lush--leaves much space for contemplation.
Here is the first single off of the album--a catchy, short number called "Martha Ann"mp3.
And here is a real treat--DKD and his sister singing a lovely acapella version of "Martha Ann" in the car:

This song is obviously one of the album's more upbeat offerings. The rest of the album, which deals primarily with familial relationships and ways of coping with death, is much more sparse. The last song, "Evensong" is very moving, soft, final--a delicate rendering of The Lord's Prayer accompanied by the music of locusts.
The albums's first song, "Wheelchairs" is what gave this post its name (which you will understand after watching the following video). If you have made it thus far, click below, watch the flickering images, listen to the words--and just let it all simmer:

Beautiful, Challenging Words For Easter

2008-03-20T16:39:00.000-07:00

A Section from "East Coker" in T.S. Eliot's Four QuartetsIV

The wounded surgeon plies the steel
That questions the distempered part;
Beneath the bleeding hands we feel
The sharp compassion of the healer's art
Resolving the enigma of the fever chart.

Our only health is the disease
If we obey the dying nurse
Whose constant care is not to please
But to remind of our, and Adam's curse,
And that, to be restored, our sickness must grow worse.

The whole earth is our hospital
Endowed by the ruined millionaire,
Wherein, if we do well, we shall
Die of the absolute paternal care
That will not leave us, but prevents us everywhere.

The chill ascends from feet to knees,
The fever sings in mental wires.
If to be warmed, then I must freeze
And quake in frigid purgatorial fires
Of which the flame is roses, and the smoke is briars.

The dripping blood our only drink,
The bloody flesh our only food:
In spite of which we like to think
That we are sound, substantial flesh and blood—
Again, in spite of that, we call this Friday good.

Music Review: Bon Iver

2008-03-06T09:08:00.000-08:00

I have just written my first (in a long time, since college really) album review which is up on my favorite new online magazine,Identity Theory. The subject of the review, Bon Iver's For Emma, Forever Ago, is lovely-full of energy, raw honesty, life. Please do take a look at the review; I would love any feedback. I strongly recommend that you buy this album immediately--you won't be disappointed.
Here is the most well-known, perhaps catchy, track from the album: "Skinny Love" mp3

Also, above is the lovely, atmpospheric video for Bon Iver's "The Wolves (Act I&II).

Try to Watch This Without Smiling

2008-03-01T22:42:00.001-08:00

Bet you can't!
Indie rock optimism. Go figure.
Be sure to stick with it until the grand finale:

Giddy family fun with all 23 members of the Polyphonic Spree! The more I watch this, and am unable to NOT feel full and smiley, the more it reminds of the joys of everyday life as experienced in the L'abri community. This made me think of dear Merran Paul's simple, yet profound statement: "hold on to the good." The fullness and joy of community life in a place such as L'abri is a concentration of so many good things that are actually just parts of everyday life, not even just in that admittedly enchanted location. I need to learn to hold on to that perspective, hold on to the good. For some reason, this video inches me closer to that goal.
"I know that we're broken; it's been unspoken for such a long time."-Tim DeLaughter

The Book of Laughter and Forgetting

2008-02-24T15:52:00.001-08:00

I have just finished Kundera's The Book of Laughter and Forgetting and am amazed, disturbed, perplexed. This is only the second Kundera offering I have read (the first was, of course, The Unbearable Lightness of Being). I admire the unconventional, creative mix of metafiction, autobiography, political discourse, magical realism. Kundera's peculiar talent for connecting so many disconnected things is both enlightening and frustrating--it's hard to hold it all together, but I am fascinated by the connections. I am still too amazed, dazed, and confused to write a coherent book review, but I wanted the opportunity to ask those of you who love this book why you love it so much. I am not sure that I do. Its cold philosophical observations, its desire to trample over every taboo--I am just not sure about it at all. I have come to expect gritty, even perverse, eroticism from Kundera--but his frequent romanticism of rape, even pedophilia, even if for "noble" magical realist and symbolic purposes, left me not wanting to fit some of these disconnected pieces together. I just wanted to forget that I had read certain sections of the "novel". I did very much enjoy Kundera's multi-angular discussion of memory--personal memory, political memory, societal memory. It's amazing how he weaves intimate autobiographical vignettes or fictional narratives into the larger social context as he explains that communism wants to create a future by erasing the past. The opening chapter has a strong visual example of this. Kundera explains that in February 1948 two communist leaders walked onto a balcony to address a crowd in Prague, and a famous photo was taken of the two men. Years later, one of the men was hanged for treason; therefore, he was erased in the "official" version of the photo. This desire to erase, rather than work through, the past is a central strand of this collection of essays and narratives. The two images he discusses can be seen here:

One last thing I wanted to mention (out of the many intriguing passages/concepts that I did like from the book) is a poignant character sketch of one of the central characters, Tamina. Kundera explains that Tamina is a true listener, never interrupting those who speak to her, not even for simple agreement. Because of this, she is well loved. This is something I have been thinking a lot about lately, especially in the wake of reading the previously mentioned Nouwen text. It seems that the desire to always agree with others, to connect our stories to theirs, can often be a means to project ourselves upon them rather than to listen to them. Kundera writes:
"The phrase 'It's absolutely the same with me, I...' seems to be an approving echo, a way of connecting the other's thought, but that is an illusion: in reality it is a brute revolt against a brutal violence, an effort to free our own ear from bondage and to occupy the enemy's ear by force."
Kundera recognizes the great difficulty of allowing the other's "otherness", the recognition of a disjunction that leads to the violence of difference. We sometimes (not always) want to cover others up with our talking, even if this covering masquerades as an act of concern or connection. This is a simple, yet profound and challenging psychological insight.
I recognize that this post is disjointed--and I must admit my experience of the book is as well. What has your experience been with Kundera in general, and with this book in particular?

What I Missed this Week

2008-02-24T09:29:00.000-08:00

How annoying that the one week that I am sick flat out in bed, struggling to go and teach, we have two fascinating speakers visit our university. In one week I have missed both author/educator Frank McCourt and poet/ex-Black Flag member and hardcore pioneer/ all around angry guy Henry Rollins! What an unlikely coupling. Of course, they did not speak on the same night, and probably don't know each other. But I think they probably both have some pretty,um, interesting things to say. I am curious to know if any of you have ever heard Rollins, in particular, do his krazy "spoken word" thang.
Here are some vids of each of them, just to remind me of what I missed!

Interestingly, the McCourt lecture was free, whereas Henry Rollins' gig cost a ridiculous 20 bucks. Real punk rawk, Henry. Interesting that he rants and raves about the dumb downed products of corporate America, yet you have to practically be a yuppy yourself to afford to go see the guy. At that price, not even sure I would have gone if I was well.
Just for fun, here is a clip of Rollins on Drew Carey--one of those exciting little YouTube gyms.

Isn't This Lovely?

2008-02-20T13:36:00.001-08:00

"Towers" by Headlights

Backstage Sessions: Headlights - Towers from Hard to Find a Friend on Vimeo.

You can find all kinds of good stuff, including fun "backstage sessions" on this great music blog.

Loneliness at the Heart of the Human Condition?

2008-02-07T08:11:00.000-08:00

A good conversation that I had with a good friend last night caused me to think back over some reading (Henri Nouwen and Blaise Pascal) I had been doing over the summer. My friend and I were talking, and I mentioned what I perceived as the essential “aloneness” of the human condition—that we are trapped within our own individual “conceptual frameworks", that no other human being can really understand the way our narrative has woven itself together. But can even we understand the events of our lives, our responses, how we are constantly changed and changing, and how all this fits together to form our “story”? We seem to be isolated from ourselves in our lack of self awareness and constant desire to deceive ourselves. Even when we desire to be honest, we have problems interpreting ourselves. I guess I basically agree with my dear Blaise Pascal that both the self and the other are mysteries, full of contradictions. He also says that in recognizing this we are led to a point of despair that leads to faith rather than “scientific” certainty, faith in God and in others—both evidenced not in “knowable” data, but through relationship.

In his book Reaching Out, Nouwen observes that our culture continually keeps us in a “state of anaesthesia” so that “ we panic when there is nothing or nobody left to distract us”. The source of this panic is a debilitating fear of loneliness, a fear that causes us to run to people, planning, activities, books, anything to keep us from dealing with our “human predicament”. Nouwen refutes the cultural assertions that being lonely means that you aren’t around the “right” people, haven’t found the “right” partner--loneliness, he says, is at the core of the human condition--and people, things, special experiences can’t take it away. He even makes a fascinating claim that this paralyzing fear of recognizing our own aloneness has led to a decline in cultural creativity. He asks:
“Does not all creativity ask for a certain encounter with our loneliness, and does not the fear of this encounter severely limit our possible self-expression?”

Nouwen also claims that when we cling to others to rid us of our loneliness, “we are, in fact, driving ourselves into excruciating relationships, tiring friendships and suffocating embraces”. He claims that we often burden others with “divine expectations, of which we ourselves are often partially aware”. When these “Messianic expectations” are not met by another person, we resort to what Nouwen sees as a “violence of thoughts--violating the mind with suspicion, inner gossip or revengeful fantasies”.

Okay, enough for today…

What Should I Watch Next?

2008-02-03T08:30:00.000-08:00

I talk about films quite a bit in all of my classes. So much, that my students often bring films to me that they love and want me to watch. Right now, I have four films loaned to me by students that I have kept TOO long. I never seem to get around to watching them. They are: Unbreakable, Requiem for a Dream, Pi, and Sicko. Please let me know what you know about these films--and let me know which I would watch first. I seem to have some of the most comment-shy friends on the blogosphere. Please don't be shy! I want to hear what you think.

I have always really wanted to watch Reqiuem, but have been quite afraid--have heard some horror stories about it (the intensity and trauma of it).

Chatta-Music

2008-01-29T18:02:00.000-08:00

Hiya. I have been pleased to go to some local shows and enjoy some pretty dang good music recently. Last week, Lisa, Abby, and I went to see Charles Allison, Reeve Hunter, and Mermaid Police in a red church basement that, at times, smelled like farts.

Here are some pictures to prove it (not the fart part). It was our first time to see Reeve perform and we thoroughly enjoyed it--this dude is krazy creative and quirky fun. Here is a picture of Reeve and an mp3 of one of my fave songs of the night:

"The Rummage" Mp3
Some of my other recent local faves are the good guys from The Heroes are Horses and Christmas Fiddle (guy singular).
Check out their music here:
The Heroes are Horses
Christmas Fiddle
Below: Christmas Fiddle is spoilt by choice at the new Greenlife:

Lastly, a few weeks ago I got to see a kooky fun band called How I Became the Bomb from not-far-away Murfreesboro, TN.
Their show was fantastic--tight, spiffy music full of energy and fun. Lots of synthesizers- and a synth player decked out in baggy seersucker pants and a pastel jacket who entertained us with near flips and multiple jumps while performing. The bass player had on a slick black Members Only jacket. Nuff said. Here is a groovy foto of above described synth player, followed by an Mp3 by the band. Be sure to also check out the songs "Robo" and "Secret Identity" on the above linked Myspace page.

Killing Machine Mp3
******************************************
I'm still pretty short on time and unable to write anything really substantial. But please do stay tuned. I have a few comments, soon to be made, on No Country For Old Men, Flannery O'Connor, and Friedrich Nietzsche . And the once promised, never-written, post on the rebirth of religious imagination in indie music IS coming at some point, although I have forgotten most of what I wanted to say in the first place.

Some People I Would Love to See Right Now

2008-01-20T22:08:00.001-08:00

I was just looking though my photos folder, and realizing how many lovely photos I have found (stolen!) from various places on the web of folks I love and miss.
*Darling Dominique and Maarten (from Germany and Holland respectively)--in Newcastle:

Naomi,dear friend from L'abri-the koolest 19 year old I have ever met:

Workers from English L'abri--Stefan, Andrew, and Jeff (Jeff and Heather now live in Chattanooga-yay!):

Newcastle Flatmate, May, frolicking at the Coast:

David, now in London, then smoking in Paris:

Dear Delphine in the South of France--I haven't seen her in so long:

Bill, who is now in Iraq. Before leaving, goofing around with kids from the Compound:

What Do You Think of This? Will Oldham and Kanye West

2008-01-13T20:01:00.000-08:00

I was so excited the first time I saw this--Will Oldham in a Kanye West video! At first, I found it very funny and entertaining, and still do to some extent. But the problem is that I REALLY like this song and think that the lyrics are brilliant. One of my students even wrote a kick-ass essay on it last semester. After thinking through the lyrics and watching the video again, I just really don't like it (the video that is) all that much. This particular brand of kool indie dude everything is so funny and we are so detached humor just does not work for me in this context. Yes, Kanye is ironic and funny, but in a very different way--and the video seems to detract from the song, turn it into something "just funny" that two really cool (of course we all know they are) white dudes both mock and, perhaps, still appreciate. Hmmm. I think there is a lot more to say on this strange juxtapostion--I need to think about it a bit more. Maybe my mind will change on this one--am curious to know what anyone else thinks.

I think I am going to ask my classes what they think about it tomorrow, especially the girl who wrote the essay. They probably have no idea who either one of the guys in the video are.

Yeah, Oh Yeah

2008-01-01T12:28:00.001-08:00

So, I do plan to write something of some substance sometime soon. But for now...
Just for Fun: I found three versions (two covers) on youtube of a song I have liked for a while from the Magnetic Fields. Here is the original (mp3) of "Yeah, Oh Yeah", followed by a vid Stephin Merritt and Co. performing it live. The next two versions are by John Vanderslice and St. Vincent and Tullycraft (so fun!). Hope you like 'em.
"Yeah, Oh Yeah" mp3 by the Magnetic Fields
Magnetic Fields Live:

John Vanderslice and St. Vincent Live

Tullycraft Live

Suburban Kids With Biblical Names

2007-12-28T10:48:00.000-08:00

With a name like this, you would think this band would be American, but they are Swedish. I first heard them on my friend Kara's car stereo as she, Rob Gifford, and I explored the lovely Hampshire countryside. What a great soundtrack for our little, temporary "escape" from the L'abri Manor House. Anyway, two fun videos for two fun songs. Hope you enjoy:
"Loop Duplicate My Heart"

"Rent A Wreck"

Web Cam, Good TV, Good Music

2007-12-21T21:24:00.000-08:00

Tonight I had a lovely time hanging out with my friends Josh and Jen. Here are my first ever webcam snapshots to document my first ever time to talk to someone (it happened to be Cannon Kirby) on a webcam. I have no idea what that white area on the right in the second photo is there for, but I still love it. Josh looks like an angry Russian (Dostoevsky?), Jen looks giddy, and I look as if I have just spent 100 bucks for hair haighlights (my hair changes color on its own, so no highlights).

Another highlight of the night was being introduced to the hilarious show 30 Rock. Josh and Jen are crazy about it, and I can now see why. At first, I was nervous as the title sounded dangerously close to Third Rock From the Sun (clearly not a good sign). But I was wrong. The writing is quirky, fresh, and extremely clever (thanks Tina Fey). I found Tracy Morgan particularly hilarious, especially when talking about "dropping truth bombs" about the fact that "the white man has been injecting AIDS into our chicken mcnuggets". I think I will soon become a big fan.

Tonight I also learned of a fun new song by another NC band via Josh, Jen, and Cannon.
Here it is: "Die, Die, Die" by the Avett Brothers
What is the deal with all this great music from North Carolina?? It seems nearly every good band I come across these days has some connection to this state. I just remembered that my friend Abby also introduced me to a new (to me) Raleigh band called The Bowerbirds (pictured below). Abby claims that their music is "like a dream", and the more I listen to the following song, the more I feel caught up in the dreaminess. It is mesmerizing, rich, multilayered. lovely. Stick with it till it ends--it will surprise you:
"In Our Talons"

The last exciting discovery of the night was that if you absolutely must shop at Walmart during the busy Christmas season (because you desperately need a new printer cartridge) then 11:30 p.m. is the best time to do it.

Christmas Music that Doesn't Make You Groan

2007-12-14T22:11:00.000-08:00

Lots of Christmas music does make me groan--sentimental, commercial, "jolly", yuck. I would usually skip over a post that said "Christmas Music", espcially if it had anything to do with Santa or rockin around the tree or all that crap--any of that overproduced, saccharine schmaltz that is basically muzac for Christmas( although I love lots of classical Christmas pieces)--. But I ask you--yes, you who might even be as cynical as me--to stop and listen to a few refreshing Christmas offerings.
First, a trip back to Sunday School with Half Handed Cloud in these bubbly songs full of childlike wonder and faith:

The * That Moved Around the Nightmp3
Asian Meteorologists Predicted the Heavens to Snow-down a Child to Us (Plant a little Fir Tree) mp3

Next, a lovely reworking of a Christmas classic from Pedro the Lion. Bazan poignantly depicts the co-existence of faith and doubt, thus emphasizing the reality of the human condition. Check out these lyrics:"Now my wife and children dream of gifts beneath the tree/ While I place in the manger baby Jesus figurine/ Sipping Christmas whiskey wondering if I still believe/ Oh tidings of comfort and joy, comfort and joy
God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemenmp3

Okay, I wasn't going to include Sufjan because EVERYONE includes Sufjan and perhaps we are all sick of it. But I just had to come back and edit this post to include this song. "That was the Worst Christmas Ever" is one of the most real, touching Christmas songs I have ever heard. This picture of hope and redemption in the midst of a very dysfunctional family situation speaks reality into the plasticized notions of sentimental, hunky dory pictures of Christmas gatherings depicted in most Christmas related rhetoric. For many people, family harmony and vacuum packed faith are not the reality of Christmas--but Sufjan emphasizes the brokenness, of a family, of an individual, that needs some sort of healing. Listen to the words. For some folks, Christmas is not a happy time. Maybe a great deal of this is due to the fact that the falsified notions of peace, love, and joy embodied in plastic smiles and jolly music highlight the pain of family dischord, questions about faith, the hardness of life. This song does not ignore the hardships,pain, and dysfunction and emphasizes that this is exactly the real reason for Christmas. Part of the strange appeal of Sufjan's music is the constant inclusion of a violence of sorts--physical violence, violence of relationships, of words, of expectations that haven't been met. This tends to offfset the soft, breathy voice, calling attention to the consistent presence of both beauty and pain that is the disturbing mixture of our real lives: "Silent night, holy night; silent night, nothing feels right."..."In time the snow will rise, In time the snow will rise/ In time the Lord will rise, In time the Lord will rise."
I believe in this hope, a hope that doesn't ignore what seems hopeless.

That was the Worst Christmas Ever mp3

Lastly, here is a little surprise treat (although not a video of amazing quality) from the Prayers and Tears of Arthur Digby Sellers:

Enjoy!
Oh---One more thing!!
Another reminder that for more music of this general ragtag, creative sort, don't forget to purchase the compilation Peace on Earth which includes Christmas offerings from Michael Nau, Casiotone for the Painfully Alone, Prayers and Tears, David Karsten Daniels, Rosie Thomas and many others. It is only 7 bucks and ALL of that money goes to Toys for Tots. It is only available until Christmas on this blog.

**Okay, so I have another edit/addition. I just found out that there is a free Christmas Collection over at the blog for Sounds Familyre records. These folks--including Danielson, Half Handed Cloud, and Soul Junk among others have given us this little free gift. Check it out! The cool thing is that they are adding a song a day for 12 days--they have added a Sufjan number since I originally posted this.

Okay, that really is it! Please let me know what you think about all this stuff, especially the interesting lyrical content of most.

Sufjan Stevens, a UFO, and the Incarnation

2007-12-06T11:46:00.000-08:00

I have been thinking quite a lot lately about the postmodern rebirth of the religious imagination,particularly in the indie music world. This is actually why I am posting the videos and lyrics for these Sufjan and Page France songs. Once I finish all my exam and essay grading, I will be writing an expanded post on the larger subject. This lush, yet sparse, song from Sufjan Stevens' Illinoise takes the contemporary, quirky imagery of a UFO siting to somehow allude to the perplexing mystery of(and the disorientation we feel when trying to understand)the Incarnation. I also really like this guy's little homemade video--hope you do as well.

Concerning The UFO Sighting Near Highland, Illinois
When the revenant came down,
We couldn't imagine what it was.
In the spirit of three stars.
The alien thing that took its form.
Then to Lebanon, oh God.
The flashing at night, the sirens grow and grow.
Oh, history involved itself.
Mysterious shade that took its form.
Or what it was, incarnation, three stars.
Delivering signs and dusting from their eyes.

A Wrecking Ball With a Heart of Gold

2007-12-03T04:42:00.000-08:00

The song "Chariot" by Page France is one of the most creative, krazily joyful, passionate songs I have heard in a long, long time. Why can't music like this be sung in church? Be sure to check out the lyrics below--they will blow your mind, and make you long for a "happy ending".

"Chariot"

Swing, like a chariot
At the trumpet call
When we're all unsaved,
Swing like a wrecking ball
Like the heart of god
What a mystery
Filled with the wedding feast
For the snakes and bees
With the angel teeth, swing
Come and carry us
Come and marry us
To the blushing circus king
And dance like elephants as he comes to us
Through a fiery golden ring
With a violin and a song to sing
As he brings for us our wings
Now he's one of us
Plays the tambourine
Breaks the bread for us
And sings
Will you wait for us
Will you stay for us
Will you grace us everything
You're a wrecking ball
With a heart of gold
People wait for it, swing
Like a chariot
Swing it low for us
Come and carry us away
So we will become a happy ending
So we will become a happy ending
Fire come and carry us
Make us shine or make us rust
Tell us that you care for us
We need to hear a word for us
Let your body stand with us
Or let our rags be turned to dust
Chariot you swing for us
We think that you can carry all of us
So we will become a happy ending
So we will become a happy ending
So we will become a happy ending
So we will become a happy ending

DKD Again

2007-11-15T17:28:00.000-08:00

I am quite in love with this song today, but have no idea what the name of it is. I must investigate.(exciting results below!)

So, I have investigated and come up with some answers. The song is called "Martha Ann", and the reason I had trouble finding it is because it will be released on David's forthcoming fifth album. Yay! His last album, Sharp Teeth, is a real treat, but has one of the most disturbing album covers ever. Take a look here if you are prepared to be freaked out.

Check This Out!

2007-11-10T15:22:00.001-08:00

Call For Papers:
The University of Westminster in London, UK, proposes to host a two-day conference on the work and career of renowned Australian singer-songwriter Nick Cave on July 5-6, 2008. Proposals for papers are welcomed. The conference will primarily focus on Cave as a lyricist and songwriter, but other perspectives--musical, cultural, critical--will be most welcome.

All Things Coupland

2007-11-10T05:58:00.000-08:00

I have not really immersed myself in any Coupland web surfing or research (or reading for that matter) since the completion of my dissertation last December--it's finally time to start again. I am just now reading his new book, The Gum Thief, and will post a review once I am finished. Yesterday I had the rewarding experience of doing a Coupland surf and came up with some really, really, cool stuff. First of all, Coupland's 1996 short, bizarre, fascinating film called Close Personal Friend is FINALLY fully available on Youtube. Here are parts ONE, TWO, and THREE.

Next, Coupland has created quite a few video companion pieces to The Gum Thief and you can watch them all here.
Also, take time to browse through the finally archived and freely available Coupland New York Time blogs which are called "Time Capsules". These are both hilarious and insightful (as usual).
Lastly, here are a few video interviews for you to take a look at:

Enjoy!

Other Things I Have Been Listening To...a LOT

2007-11-04T11:06:00.000-08:00

**You can download mp3s here for all of the following except for the Laura Veirs song which I can't make work--so the link for that song goes directly to her Myspace page which immediately plays the song.**
SONGS THAT MAKE ME GIDDY-HAPPY:
"Don't Lose Yourself" by Laura Veirs

"Sun in an Empty Room" by the Weakerthans

SONGS THAT MAKE ME MELANCHOLY-HAPPY:
"Kookaburra" by John Vanderslice

"Boy From School" by Hot Chip

"Hold On, Hold On" by Neko Case

THIS POST JUST KEEPS GROWING:
I know the following are older offerings, but I am so in love with Neko Case's strong, mesmerizing voice right now that I went and found two of my favorite New Pornographers' songs. I only seem to "get" this band when Neko sings; can anyone recommend a great song of theirs in which she doesn't sing the lead vocals?

"The Bones of an Idol" by New Pornographers
"These are the Fables" by New Pornographers
What do you think?

Good Music You Might Not Have Heard Before--Lots of mp3s

2007-10-24T19:35:00.000-07:00

Over the past year, I have really gotten into some great music from a group of various artists in Chapel Hill NC called the Bu_hanan collective (they are also their own indie record label). This group of 5 or so guys and their friends make amazing, collaborative music together. I have included ELEVEN mp3s from 3 of these fantastic groups/ musicians that make up the collective: Kapow! Music (John Ribo and co.), The Prayers and Tears of Arthur Digby Sellers (Perry Wright, Alex Lazara), and David Karsten Daniels. I am not going to say much about this as I want you to spend your time LISTENING. I would love to know what you think!

KAPOW! MUSIC:

I will need to re-post these again later, as I made a mistake in how it was done the first time. For now, check out the tunes on the Kapow! music Myspace site.

THE PRAYERS AND TEARS OF ARTHUR DIGBY SELLERS:

1)"Lisa"
2)"Concerning the End of the World" (my very favorite--lyrics are painful and profound)
3)"Concerning Lessons Learned from Aliens"
4)"Come Ye Sinners"
5) "Against Pollution" (Mountain Goats Cover)

DAVID KARSTEN DANIELS:

1)"Siamese Hearts" (Another favorite)
2)"Jesus and the Devil"
3)"The Dream Before the Ring that Woke Me"

Finally, here are links to the above musicians individual sites, so you can download and/or buy more music--as well as see if they are playing near you. I know that both Prayers and Tears and David Karsten Daniels have new albums coming out relatively soon, so I am guessing they will be touring. Here are the sites:
The Prayers and Tears of Arthur Digby Sellers (this site in particular has TONS of good FREE music to download--plus some fascinating commentaries)
David Karsten Daniels
Kapow! music

**I am ashamed that I forgot to mention that music guru Jeremy Huggins introduced me to the Prayers and Tears over a year ago on his blog. Jeremy's fantastic blog "Junkmail for Blankets" has to be my favorite blog out there, full of excellent writing and music, movie, lit recommendations. Be sure to take a look at it at some point. His recent article about Page France (which happens to mention the Prayers and Tears of Arthur Digby Sellers) has profoundly effected me on many levels.

Self-Indulgence: Photos and Update

2007-10-16T04:49:00.000-07:00

Bill Rice, Stephanie Oswald, Rob Gifford and Me.

So, people keep writing and asking me why I don't post photos of myself on my blog. I always feel weird about stuff like that--just like I feel weird about going on vacation and having people take snaps of me in front of historical sites (I NEVER do this). Anyway,I caved and have now provided few photos from last summer. These are with friends in the UK/ from L'abri etc.
I will go ahead and use this self- indulgent post to update you on my life: First of all, I am living with my dear friends, Ann and Larry, and their two little girls, Meg and Taylor. Ann and I have been friends for over 15 years now--she and Larry are such dear folks and have really welcomed me into their home. This worked out really well as I need a sort of "temporary" place as I apply for jobs for next academic year. And my finances are also being helped by this (student loan payment--arggghhh). Life in this house is quite exciting--two nights ago we had a BAT in the house. Ann and I (Larry was out of town) called the police to come and kill him! I love having eight year old Meg and two year old Taylor around. Taylor is a hilarious pop culture toddler--she loves to repeat things such as "dot com" and "diet coke" over and over--and over and over. Meg is awesome--she slips cute little notes under my door that say things like "Mary, will you please color with me tomorrow? I love you. Meg".
I am currently slaving away teaching five university general ed classes (Rhetoric and Composition and Western Humanities). It is good to be back in the States and teaching in a US university, but I am eager to begin teaching classes in my specialization area (modern and contemporary literature; religion and literature; all things pop culture related). I am currently applying for next year's jobs like crazy--from postdoc opportunities to Assistant Professorships in Contemporary Lit. I am praying that something cool will come through. I am pretty excited about travelling to South and North Carolina over this long weekend (Fall Break) to meet friends and check out universities. Other than that, things are pretty "normal". I have been far to busy grading papers and applying for jobs to have a social life. Maybe one day.

David Dusenbury and Me.

Sufjan covers The Innocence Mission

2007-10-12T19:18:00.000-07:00

Oh, how lovely.

The Flying Cup Club

2007-10-12T09:53:00.001-07:00

Beirut's new album The Flying Cup Club has just been released; you can see the band's scrappy, yet stylized homemade videos (one for each of the twelve tracks) here. My favorite song this far is "Nantes", which you can listen to here. "Elephant Gun", which is also on that site, is a fantastic older one.

New Book/ My Encounter With Douglas Coupland

2007-10-04T21:46:00.001-07:00

So, Coupland's new book, The Gum Thief,came out in the States just yesterday. You can read a synopsis of it here. The last time I was able to spek with Coupland (after a book reading in London) he told me that this book was about the interior world of Staples employees. I can't wait.

Speaking of speaking with Coupland, I dug out an old e-mail I sent to friends after my most memorable encounter with Coupland. Here it is:
I have finally met the key subject of my PhD dissertation, Douglas Coupland!! He wrote and starred in a play that was performed at the RSC in Stratford upon Avon. One of my French friends, Stephanie, and I explored Stratford and then went to Coupland's play _September 10, 2001_. My story(not Coupland's play!) is quite a long and sordid tale that involves getting kicked out of a pub called The Dirty Duck--I'll try to make it short.After speaking with about 5 folks associated with Coupland, I met the play's director who went to ask Dougie if he could meet me. This very nice director guy came back with a large note (written in bright red ink) from Coupland that said I could meet him at the cast party later which would take place at the Dirty Duck pub across the road. So, my friend and I wandered around a very dead Stratford, hopping from tudor pub to tudor pub, until our meeting time, when we went back to the Dirty Duck. I saw a large table with a reserved sign on it and, assuming it was for the cast party, I sat there. The next thing I know, a stumpy, red faced little publican came aggressively towards me, aslking me what I was doing there. The table was apparently reserved for the cast of King Lear; I tried to get up and move and explain this confusion, but this was immediately misinterpreted as a demand to sit there. So, my poor little FRench friend, once again embarrassed by her loud mouthed American friend, tried to quietly leave. I, on the other hand, demanded to know why we were kicked out!! By now, the entire population of a very crowded pub was looking at Stephanie and me, and we were asked again to leave and to "Never Come BAck!"So we went back to the theatre and waited until we saw Coupland coming down the steps and heading for the pub. I introduced myself and, rather than complimenting his play or speaking about my PhD work with him, I proceeded to tell him the saga of the Dirty Duck pub. Thankfully, he was just as shocked as we were and asked us to come back to the pub with him. We ended up having a nice time hanging out with Coupland and his entourage (of course were just sophisticated, friendly intellectual on-lookers, not groupies!! hmm hmm). It was a great, if traumatic evening, and the big man ended up giving me his e-mail address so I could write and ask questions about his writing.
The end.

All things Scottish

2007-10-03T05:41:00.000-07:00

I had grown quite tired of Belle and Sebastian, but my love and appreciation for them was resurrected this morning as I drove to school and listened closely to the lyrics of "We Rule The School" from Tigermilk. The best bits:
"Do something pretty while you can
Don't fall asleep
Skating a pirouette on ice is cool

Do something pretty while you can
Don't be a fool
Reading the Gospel to yourself is fine"

I also realized how much listening to these guys makes me long for Glasgow, my favorite city in the UK--a place both earthy and electric. My favorite aspect of Glasgow is the imprint that architect/designer Charles Rennie Mackintosh left on the place. Here he is:

Every time I visted that city (and I have been many times), I endeavored to see a different Mackintosh building. The highlights of all these sitings are definitely the library in the Glasgow School of Art and Design (Macintosh designed both the interior and exterior of the building--and they also have a lot of his furniture and paintings on display).
The library:

The front of the Art School (take a tour if at all possible):

My second favorite place is the music hall in the "House For an Art Lover":

**I hope to find a better photo of this later--I think I might have one somewhere.

Love, Love, Love The Man

2007-09-27T17:51:00.000-07:00

My dear friend Lisa Short just sent me a link to this video and I am in love once again. The footage in this is brilliant--there is nothing better than the Elvis of the Fifties--the Rockabilly, pelvis-banned, ball of energy young Elvis. Can you get much cooler than this or, even better-- this?

Maybe some of my love for Elvis comes from my Memphis roots--and from the fact that my Mom was friends with him. I grew up hearing my grandmother exclaim, "Oh what a sweet boy!" whenever Elvis' name was mentioned. She actually hired him twice to play for a fundraiser in Forrest City, Arkansas. One day soon I want to formally interview my mother and grandmother about their Elvis experiences and post them here.
I also love thinking about Elvis not only as an icon not only of energy and style, but also as a symbol of a movement forward in American race relations (in fact, I gave my composition class a mini lecture on this the other day).
I have one question concerning Elvis' legacy that has always bothered me: why are Elvis impersonators always characterizing the 70's, tacky, fat, white Jump suited Elvis? I have never seen a sleek, twisting 1950's Elvis. Why?

Aaron Belz and Ectoplasm

2007-09-24T14:46:00.001-07:00

I had a privilege of seeing my good friend Aaron Belz give a fantastic poetry reading last Thursday. I haven't laughed that hard in a long time (not at Aaron, but at the poems--okay, maybe a little bit at Aaron). I encourage you all to check out and purchase his new book (pictured above). You can take a look (it's searchable) and buy it here on Amazon.

Here is one of my favorites from the reading the other night:

The One About the Ectoplasm and the Osteoblast
Aaron Belz

Some ectoplasm sits next to an osteoblast
at a bar. The ectoplasm asks the osteoblast,
"Why do you form bones?" And the osteoblast
responds, "Why are you the outer relatively
rigid granule-free layer of the cytoplasm usually
held to be a gel reversibly convertible to a sol?"
And the ectoplasm is like, "Wow, that is such
an awkward question." And so the osteoblast
goes, "Seriously, why are you? I form bones
for the same reason." The bartender, an osteoclast,
asks them what they want to drink. The ectoplasm
asks him what he recommends that's on draft,
and he says the Dead Guy Ale, it's a fresh keg.
They both break into fits of laughter. "Oh my gosh!"
says the osteoblast, "Dead Guy is a German-style
Maibock that's deep honey in color with a malty
aroma, rich hearty flavor and a well balanced finish.
Now does that sound like the kind of beer we drink?"

Very Exciting!

2007-09-07T09:41:00.000-07:00

Wow--long blog silence. Sorry. I have just been reading about the first full length study of Douglas Coupland--written by Lancaster University Professor Andrew Tate. I have known about this up and coming book for quite a while as Andrew was my external examiner for my PhD Viva. I am thrilled to finally be able to order a copy and read the whole thing!! Yipee!! You can read a bit about the new book on this guy's blog.

L'abri

2007-08-15T22:49:00.001-07:00

L'abri, originally uploaded by dimbles7uk.

Just testing the "Blog This" feature on flckr. So, I am back from L'abri and ready (sort of) to begin teaching. Here is my favorite photo from Bill's time at L'abri--with Andrew Fellows.

Click in the above photos to see many more photos from this summer.
**The sweater that Bill is wearing in the photo has had an amazing, almost mystical short life. Bill, please share the sweater's tale with the Blog readers if you will!

Simone Weil and Blaise Pascal: Entry into "The Moment"

2007-07-13T02:26:00.000-07:00

As mentioned before, the writings of both Simone Weil and Blaise Pascal have been very important to me of late. I think it fascinating to look here at the words they use to describe their initial and profound encounters with God--mystical experiences, "the fullness of the moment" as Kierkegaard says. Both of their accounts indicate instances of passivity on their part, testifying to the weight and glory of the experience, the Presence being forced upon them.
Simone Weil even claims that she was "possessed by Christ" while reading George Herbert's "Love". Weil, a thinker and activist who had no interest and perhaps little previous exposure to Christianity, was struck by the strange, unexpected reality of this "possession". She claims that:
"God in his mercy had prevented me from reading the mystics, so that it should be evident to me that I had not invented this absolutely unexpected contact."

Then she goes onto say some beautiful, fascinating, challenging, important things:

"Yet I still half refused, not my love but my intelligence. For it seemed to me certain, and I still think so today, that one can never wrestle enough with God if one does so out of pure regard for the truth. Christ likes us to prefer truth to him because, before being Christ, he is truth. If one turns aside from him to go toward the truth, one will not go far before falling into his arms."
To read Weil's full account look here.
Pascal's famous close call with death/conversion moment beautifully coloured his life, writing, perspective until his death, when a piece of cloth detailing his encounter was found sewn onto the inside of his jacket. It said this:

"From about half past ten in the evening to about half an hour after midnight.
Fire.
God of Abraham, God of Isaac, God of Jacob.
Not the God of philosophers and scholars.
Absolute Certainty: Beyond reason. Joy. Peace.
Forgetfulness of the world and everything but God.
The world has not known Thee, but I have known Thee.
Joy! Joy! Joy! Tears of Joy!"

I wish I could say that the above photos were my own--they aren't. Kurt Simonson, professor of photography from Biola Univeristy, was just visiting L'abri and took many beautiful photos--these are a small sampling. To see more of his wonderful work look here.

It Makes Me Feel Schizometric

2007-07-11T16:41:00.000-07:00

I am up in Newcastle for the week and watched Michel Gondry's The Science of Sleep last night. Brilliant. For the first hour of the film I was delighted--it was was whimsical, creative, fresh--then the saturation of delight, fantasy, whimsy began to take its toll. The film became prfound, frightening, even tragic. I don't even know how to speak about it without giving too much away. But I can say that this is a rare film which enters the world of dreams in a very poignant, beautiful, yet frightening way--its creativity is astounding. But its accuracy is even more so. The main character, Stehane, lives inside his head--constantly between the moments of waking and sleeping. His dream world continually merges with "real" life, and he lives according to his most base, subconscious impulses, hs primal, childlike desires. This iability to edit the self, to tame one's deepest urges proves to be tragically isolating. Watch this film--let me know what you think.

It's a Sad, Beautiful World

2007-07-06T01:49:00.001-07:00

We watched Jim Jarmusch's wonderful Down By Law this Tuesday night at L'abri (L'abri worker Jim Paul is a big Jarmusch fan). I like Jarmusch, but often feel impatient with his slow, rich, minimalism; because of this, I think I have passed over this film in the past. I am so glad that I finally watched it--it was much more rich than slow. Roberto Benigni's frenetic energy (hiccup, hiccup) alongside Waits' smooth coolness was a consistent treat. The sleek, stylized black and white photography, especially in the opening shots of gritty (yet somehow romanticized) New Orleans life, are wonderful. We had an excellent discussion after the film (I was surprised--how do you discuss a Jarmusch film?!). My favorite line of discussion concerned Jim's comments about Benigni's character (Bob!) playing the role of the Shakespearian "holy fool" who brings a reality of sorts (through communication, childishness, joy in life, true statements about life) to the other fumbling characters. This is quite evident after thinking through his relationship with Zach and Jack, his prison cellmates, who are lost, whose characters are, in some ways, interchangeable. Bob is the only one truly guilty of the crime he has been convicted for (murder) while the other two have been framed. Ironically, the story of this most "real" of characters, the jester who infuses playful reality into the lives of the other two men, ends like a fairy tale. His story is complete, romantic, both true and untrue--while the other two are left to wander. Anyway, the film is hilarious and beautiful--well worth watching.
Other films that have been shown this term at L'abri:
1) Heaven--Tykwer's beautiful realization of Kieslowski's vision
2) As It is in Heaven-(notice a theme here?!) fascinating, yet extremely and annoyingly melodramatic Swedish film about a famous musician returning to the town of his youth and becoming the choir director in the local church.
3) The Return--Breathtaking cinematography, heartwrenching story. It was beautiful but a bit too much for me--very hard to watch.
4) Jesus of Montreal--did not actually watch this one but have been curious for ages. Lots of negative comments from folks about it.
5) Blue--one of my very favorite films of all time--never loses its beauty or emotional impact. I do want to mention that only last year, after rewatching it in a British cinema, did I realize that the text of the film score is I Corinthians 13. The American film version does NOT subtitle the music text for the final montage sequence, but European versions do. This changed my entire reading/experience of the film--absolutely stunning.

For Once, Little to Say

2007-07-01T08:28:00.000-07:00

The intensity of life (conversations, readings, thought processes) here is so great that it is hard to write anything at the moment. But these photos do provide a small taste of life here.
1) A beautiful surprise--my dear friend David appeared at L'abri this week. What a gift it was to spend time with him. (David and Naomi pictured)
2) Little Sam (workers Jim and Merran's son)
3) Another lovely surprise--my friend Liz from London (in the foreground here) came for a few days. Good conversations followed. She is fantastic. (Liz, Marta and Cara pictured)
4) Dinner outside behind the Pauls' house.

2007-06-24T08:38:00.000-07:00

1) Tea time!
2) Stefan & Beer
3) Naomi and Rob, two folks that I adore
4) Ed from Winchester, the Manor House busker
5) Andrew Fellows undergoing the process of Enlightenment (and sharing the results).

Photos and Books

2007-06-17T08:15:00.001-07:00

Books currently sitting next to my bed to be read (many of them concurrently--crazy I know). Would love to hear your comments/ thoughts on any of these as I go through them this summer:

1)Fyodor Dostoevsky: Notes from the Underground (Bill, I am just not getting into it--even after all of your enthusiasm.)
2)Donald Miller: To Own a Dragon: Reflections on Growing Up Without a Father (Christine, thanks for pretty much forcing me into this read. Miller’s writing style frequently infuriates me, but as with Blue Like Jazz, I appreciate the connections he makes, the things he chooses to talk about.)
3) C. S. Lewis: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader (my first time to read straight through the Chronicles of Narnia--all the ship stuff is making this the most difficult to get through.)
4) N. T. Wright: Evil and the Justice of God(I appreciate so much Wright’s move away from fundamentalist language, even though his stance is clearly evangelical. This book confronts many of the issues I wrestle with--the first chapter was so beautiful that it left me in tears.)
5) Soren Kierkegaard: Philosophical Fragments (absolutely amazing, reading for a L’abri study group.)
6) Blaise Pascal: Pensees (my first time to attempt and read all the way through--in sections throughout the course of the summer. One of the most life changing books--and I don’t say this lightly--that I have ever digested.)
7) Henri Nouwen: Reaching Out (also being read for another L’abri study group. Wonderful, practical, mystical, challenging.)
8) Martin Buber: I and Thou (have wanted to read this one for a while, especially since my last visit to L’abri and hearing Andrew Fellow’s wonderful lecture on it.)
9) C.S. Lewis: The Great Divorce (can’t wait to reread this as my static, modern idea of heaven has been so challenged lately. In a good way.)
10) M. Scott Peck: The Road Less Travelled ( a strange addition to this list, I know. But my tutor here really admires the insights in his chapter on love and wants me to read it. I am a bit scared.)

L'abri: Utopia or Reality?

2007-06-10T07:20:00.000-07:00

My beautiful little Brazilian neighbor, Helena, running from the camera:

Although a gift, L’abri is a difficult place to be—especially as it is easy to idealize it, to turn it into a utopia, after leaving here and upon anticipating a return. Then on returning, you once again remember how scary and beautiful it is to attempt and face reality in this environment. L’abri itself is an effort to distinguish between reality and our many illuisions—and that makes it quite terrifying. My first week was very hard—I asked myself over and over again if I had made the right decision in coming back and committing a whole summer (which could be used to work and search for a job for Fall) to be here. This past Friday, it all finally clicked, wonderfully, graciously, delicately and fully—and I began to remember what L’abri is really about---learning to live as one fully human, learning to drink in the fullness of life (life in God, life that is fragile and made more real through both beauty and pain). I know I am meant to be here for now, even though I am spending time having very difficult conversations, thinking over difficult issues—but the fullness of life here is undeniable and irresistible. It is already changing me.

Pascal’s comments (in previous post) about the fear of living in the present moment relate very much to the scariness of L’abri. In the moment is reality, in the moment we meet God—this is both irresistible and very frightening. Although I have many other things back home I need to be thinking about (a job!), I want to make the effort to live here, now, in this present beautiful, sometimes scary, moment. In this effort, I have even made a decision to return the mobile phone I bought to use this summer—I want to focus on being HERE rather than always trying to reach those outside (ironic, I know, as I write a blog post!).
Two Swedish action figures (Stefan and Lois) building a little greenhouse behind the Manor House:

Helena again:

Anita from Mexico, Andrew Fellows (L'abri Worker) and Esther from Hollnd during a tea break:

Kierkegaard and Eternity in the Moment/ The Fullness of Time

2007-06-10T07:15:00.000-07:00

Rob from Boston in the L'abri Study Room--Probably reading Kierkegaard!

Still relating to this theme of the present moment, I wanted to share a fantastic, lyrical, quotation from Kierkegaard’s Philosophical Fragments in which K explains the very moment of conversion from “untruth” to “truth” from “not to be” to “to be”. He writes:

“And now, the moment. A moment such as this is unique. To be sure, it is short and temporal, as the moment is; it is passing, as the moment is, past, as the moment in the next moment, and yet it is decisive, and yet it is filled with the eternal. A moment such as this must have a special name. Let us call it: the fullness of time.”

I realize that this quote is out of context, needs much explanation (K contrasts the Socratic method of learning to this act of what he calls conversion), but I will not do that right now. For now, I want to just mention Kirkegaard’s focus on the passing, yet still eternal moment of conversion, in which the “divine teacher” creates both the condition (an awakened knowledge of our “untruth”) and the movement to truth. K later emphasizes that this moment can be neither recollected properly or recereated, and that God cannot be “drawn over to our side” again just through our controlled attempts at reconstruction. We experience this movement from untruth to truth in the fullness of the moment. Although Kierkegaard here is referring to the singular defining moment of Christian conversion, I wonder how this also relates to the process of a sort of sanctification, of lifelong miniature movements in the moment towards deeper, greater understandings of specific truths. Learning here can be seen as, in a sense, a mystical experience.

**There is a note in the Kierkegaard text next to the phrase “the fullness of time” that references Galatians 4:4 (and reading this scripture alongside the poetry of this Kierkegaard passage adds to the beauty and the mystery of the point):

“But when the time had fully come, God sent his Son, born of the woman, born under law, to redeem those under law, that we might receive the full rights of sons.”

A lovely pathway near my little schoolhouse.

L'abri, Pascal and the Present Moment

2007-06-02T13:17:00.000-07:00

So, here I am. At L’abri. It was a good, easy trip over but I am pretty exhausted.
On the plane over, my mind was full, reeling as I fell in and out of that restless plane sleep. During the past few weeks, I have had several enlightening, disturbing, challenging, hard, beautiful conversations with friends (both new and old) about some of the most difficult questions concerning faith. The timing of these conversations is quite striking--although these conversations about struggles, doubts, belief, etc. have contained themes that have been near to my recent spiritual life, have reflected the language of my own recent soul, I feel as if my own questions have been clarified, my appetite for a deeper understanding of the reality of mystery has been whetted.

Because of this, I could not help but read Pascal’s Pensees on the plane--I felt madly driven to do it. Blaise Pascal and Simone Weil have been left some of the deepest imprints on my heart and mind over the last few months. And it keeps happening, especially with Pascal.
Please read this amazing section from Pensees:

“We never keep to the present. We recall the past; we anticipate the future as if we found it too slow in coming and were trying to hurry it up, or we recall the past as if to stay its too rapid flight. We are so unwise that we wander about in times that do not belong to us, and do not think of the only one that does, so vain that we dream of times that are not and blindly flee the only one that is. The fact is that the present usually hurts. We thrust it out of sight because it distresses us, and if we find it enjoyable, we are sorry to see it slip away. We try to give it the support of the future, and think how we are going to arrange things over which have no control for a time we can never be sure of reaching.

Let each of us examine his thoughts; he will find them wholly concerned with the past or the future. We almost never think of the present, and if we do think of it, it is only to see what light it throws on our plans for the future. The present is never our end. The past and present are our means, the future alone our end. Thus we never actually live, but hope to live, and since we are always planning how to be happy, it is inevitable that we should never be so.”
After reading this beautiful passage, I remembered one of my favorite L’abri lectures entitled
“The Sacrament of the Present Moment” by Andrew Fellows. Andrew argues along the same lines as Pascal, but continually makes the point that we meet God only in the present. How does this relate to Pascal‘s comment about the pain of the present? It is so hard, so frightening, to slow down--to wait, to believe in the sacred nature of the present moment. We are always running forwards and backwards--is this running into the future or back into the past another way to avoid God, to be distracted, to avoid facing the painful light of reality? Why? There is a lot I could say about this but this is already crazily long. Would love to hear any of your comments.

On a lighter note, here are two items of interest from my return to England:
1) Victoria Station now has its own Krispy Kreme.
2) I am sharing a little Victorian schoolhouse at L’abri with a Brazilian family. One of the Brazilians gave a lecture on Kierkegaard last night--which I sadly missed.
That’s all for now!

Weekend in NYC

2007-05-29T19:32:00.000-07:00

Early Memorial Day Cookout in the back yard of the Compound:

Elizabeth Odegard in lovely Astoria:

Another Cookout Shot:

Bill and that jerk who wrote the smartass comment on my last post:

Bill and Linnea (aka Jackie O) on Subway

Saturday Night Poker Game. Aaron Belz and I were newbies; you can read his embittered account here.

My new friend Esther--she likes to ask questions. She is awesome:

Find many more photos from the weekend here on flickr.

The Alienated Man of Violent "Honor"

2007-05-23T04:50:00.000-07:00

It is a well known fact that Scorsese modelled Taxi Driver's Travis Bickle after Ethan Edwards of John Ford's brilliant The Searchers. Each anti-hero is a war veteran, a "searcher" whose obsession (what becomes a monomania) with a particular code of honor leads to violence. Both of this "outsiders" attempt to rescue the young girl, the object of their obsession, although she might not REALLY want to be rescued. Anyway, I have never had the opportunity to watch these two closely together, but we are doing that in my film class this week. We just finished The Searchers and will see Taxi Driver tomorrow, so I will let you know how it goes.

Train Nostalgia/ Identity Crisis

2007-05-21T16:37:00.000-07:00

As I was packing up and moving AGAIN (actually putting stuff on top of stuff that is already in storage--because I don't know where I will be once I return from the UK), I found this happy little reminder of the joys of public transport. I miss it. By the way, I am only just learning to use the scanner and don't know how to make this not crooked. Frustrating. Anyway, I miss trains and buses--and discounts for being a "young person" (well, more for being a student. Sadly, "young person" no longer applies).

Update: I have just had about NINE INCHES cut from my hair so I no longer look, even remotely, like the above picture. There are layers involved. I am silently freaking out. Not sure how I feel about it all. Hmmm.

Baudrillard and Megachurches

2007-05-19T06:22:00.001-07:00

One of the classes I have taught this semester is called Cultural Heritage of the West--a survey of Western literature and philosophy from the Renaissance to the Postmodern (a lot to cram into one semester, I tell you). Several of the final essays I received are particularly commendable as the students really engaged with the conceptual recommendations of those who think very differently than themselves about the nature and substance of reality. Rather than dismissing the claims completely, slapping on a pat "Christian" answer in order to quickly label and dispose, they were able to see how these critiques and questions were importnat to their own understanding of faith. This honesty, desire to ask serious, hard questions as Christians about our participation in and relationship to culture, is a far more Christian approach (in the truest sense of the word) than spewing out what often becomes dismissive formula in a Chrsitian subculture.
One fascinating essay is a discussion of Douglas Coupland's Generation X alongside Baudrillard's Simulacra and Simulations and America. One of the author's most interesting points relates to Baudrillard's claim that God, like everything else, is a pure simulacrum (image with no ultimate, grounding reference point). Baudrillard claims that the church smashed its images of Christ, not for fear of idolatry, but because the production of the image blatantly indicates that God Himself is only an image, a view that they wish to keep hidden. In her paper, the student asks, "Can God Himself really be replicated and condensed to the signs that compose faith?" She continues by saying that "simulation is death, because it never moves forward." If reality is simply a flattened image, there is no progression, no room for depth--only stagnation in the guise of gloss. Although the author's paper indicates a clear desire for and belief a transcendent "Real" that gives shape and substance to the things of this world, she also cleverly notices that perhaps we, as Christians, have often reduced our faith to the very depthless signs of our consumer culture. She writes: "We show we love Jesus by the t-shirts we wear, the self-help books we read and the endless circulation of CDs that seem to give glory not only to God, but to the companies that mass produce them. We almost numb ourselves to original thought, thinking that if John Piper did not say it, it's probably blasphemy. The new religion of consumerism bleeds into Chrsitianity so flawleesly that one cannot see the distinction. Hyppereality effects the church as well. Mega-churches that bring in over 10,000 people keep them there with the alluring scent of Starbucks brewing in the foyer and the ecstatic rumbling of 15 piece drum kits, 4 lead guitars and Christian pop stars belting out radio-hit hymns. This dose of what America loves (lights, noise, gratifications) infiltrates even temples which were built to give God glory." This student's observations concerning the pat, nonoriginal replications, the fear of originality and "free thought"--another indication of stagnation-- in many corners of "Christian" culture show us EXACTLY why it is important to read Baudrillard.

BEIRUT

2007-05-14T23:01:00.001-07:00

Oh. My. Word. Just LISTEN! I have listened to this song no less than 20 times today--no lie. I can't help but smile during the cool trumpet part near the end--it makes me happy. This is especially for Carlos, Mike and Stephanie who will certainly dig it. And David Van Dusen--you will love it too methinks.
Update: So, Aaron Belz just e-mailed me and told me that I am "18 months behind". I am deflated. Have mercy on me, Oh cool Americans. I have lived in Britain for almost 6 years. People have bad taste there (with a few exceptions in Glasgow!)--I received no guidance.
Another cool-o-meter update: Aaron wrote back again saying that MAYBE I was only 12 months behind. whew, good to know. Aaron, why don't you just LEAVE A COMMENT?!

Summer Plans...

2007-05-08T08:43:00.000-07:00

I will be here very soon...

And here...

And even here...

And knowing this place, the weather might very well look just like the above snowy, windy photo even though it is summer. But I don't care because it is a place I love.

Don't You Just Love It When Nerds Make it Big?

2007-05-04T03:39:00.000-07:00

This video KILLs me. Love these guys.

Half Handed Cloud

2007-05-01T06:08:00.000-07:00

This is my friend John, one of the most truly joy-filled people I know. He is even joyful when slipping under the weight of a retro-suitcase. John's joy, creative quirkiness and expert songwriting are all invested in a wonderful project called Half Handed Cloud. If you have never heard any of Half Handed Cloud's music, then go directly to John's website or the Asthmatic Kitty website and check them out. Someone (I can't remember who) mentioned that the music sounds like a mix of Brian Wilson and Elliot Smith after drinking a gallon of heavily sugared (or something elsed) koolaid and going to Sunday school--complete with feltboards. I had the pleasure of working at McKay's used books and records with John, back when he was in multiple bands that only wrote songs about robots (Wookieback), Seventies sitcoms (the Regal Beagles), and a special Christmas album under the name "The Season's Glreekins", complete with songs such as "Transformer Manger" and "Gas Station Stocking Stuffer". Once he kindly drove all the way down from Knoxville to perform for free at an RUF concert event my friend Lisa and I organized at the University of Tennessee--we will never forget seeing the endlesss tiny suitcases, windup toys, feltboards being unloaded from that little car. Needless to say, this big-hearted friend has endless creative energy, a wicked (in the very best sense of the word) fresh sense of humor--and deserves a good listen. Half Handed Cloud has four excellent full length CD's, and lately I am addicted to this song called "I Got a Letter" (please take a listen)from his most recent EP "What's The Remedy". This EP, recorded with Sufjan Stevens, has songs that ask interrogates the tension between Law and grace. Conceptual, theological, fizzy, and fun. Check him out! I am so excited about the music today that I even broke my black and white streak!
**Also check out this groovy video for another very addictive song from Half Handed Cloud's Halos and Lassos.

The Boy With The Thorn In His Side

2007-04-25T20:09:00.001-07:00

Watched François Truffaut's stunningly beautiful, profound and lyrical The 400 Blows tonight. I was very moved by this film, so moved that I had a lump in my throat during my entire drive home. I was surprised by this, having seen other French New Wave films, and leaving them with a complete sense of detachment from the protagonists, maybe even a repulsion for these new fashioned anti-heroes (of course, this was, I guess, intentional--a reaction against the sentimentalization of Hollywood's fuzzy character studies). But Truffaut's tender portrait of an estranged, ignored, displaced young boy is one of the most convincing and poignant depictions I have seen anywhere. Nothing seems overdone--and although the filming is extremely stylish and crisp, its profound, painful reality is somehow devastating. The ending scene--a freeze frame in which we see the fresh, yet weathered face of Antoine--the face of a CHILD--is one of the most beautiful I have ever seen. Although he has found his "freedom", he has nowhere to go--and we realize that his deepest desire is not, and never was, for freedom. This beautiful scene also recalls the end of La Dolce Vita--the untarnished shot of Fellini's daughter (a vision of innocence that is unattainable for the Marstrioni character). In the end of The 400 Blows we are aware that, tragically, the young protagonist has already been alienated from his own innocence. This film is profoundly spiritual--it made me, for a few moments, recognize how much I love people, but need to love them even more by recognizing the complexity of each human experience. I was challenged, moved, and I hope that, even in the slightest way, transformed.

Missing Newcastle...

2007-04-24T23:09:00.000-07:00

And especially the wonderful international community there. Here are some of my favorite photos taken by my dear friend Stephanie (who I miss very much) and her boyfriend, rob. The first is of my playing a card game with some exotic Spaniards(!) The next is of one of Stephanie's wonderful French/German/Spanish/American/English dinner parties. By the way, I have no clue why every single post I have made is in a different font. I need a mjor tutorial on this thing.

Robert 'Charlie Chaplin' Smith??

2007-04-21T23:59:00.000-07:00

As I am now obsessed with Charlie Chaplin, I have just come across a 1917 short of his called "The Cure" .While watching it, I was struck by how much his hair, makeup--even the way he is sitting in one part--remind me of Robert Smith (I know Chaplin looked like this in most of his very early films, but this has the most striking resemblance in parts)! I then began to speculate that perhaps this short is what gave "The Cure" their name?! I tried googling around to find out, but came up with nothing. Does anyone out there know? Click on this post's title to watch a short clip from the film and let me know what you think of my hypothesis!

Conversion to Charlie

2007-04-20T21:51:00.000-07:00

Last night I had the eye-opening experience of watching Charlie Chaplin's Modern Times. What an absolute delight, a complete surprise--nothing short of a riveting film experience. I am ashamed to say that I honestly don't think I have ever seen a full Chaplin film before--I am hooked. What a genius--directing, writing, producing, acting, composing, singing, roller skating!! Next, I hope to watch The Great Dictator, City Lights and The Kid. If you, like me, have somehow bypassed Chaplin, go rent one of these films NOW. If you, like me, are sometimes concerned that silent film viewing will be tedious, leave behind these concerns. Chaplin will prove them completely wrong.

Welcome to My New Blog

2007-04-17T05:53:00.000-07:00

Kierkegaard's thought, struggle, and questions about faith and despair have been very important in my recent life. At a recent literature conference that I attended, conversations were had about novelist Walker Percy's (another fave) love for and interpretation of Kierkegaard in his own novels. Percy was particularly preoccupied with Kierkegaard's aesthetic/ ethical division from Either/ Or.

This is a gross oversimplification, but here goes: the 'aesthete' ("Either") is fueled by a need for immediacy as he passively, dispassionately consumes pleasure. He is absorbed completely within what K calls the "aesthetic stage". This form of bottomless, noncommital hedonism, as K sees it, leads ultimately to boredom and despair. This is actually a perfect description of the world of all of Bret Easton Ellis' novels.

The ethical life, or stage, ("Or") is defined chiefly by reflection--it sees the interior world, including the spiritual, as more important than the external world of temporal pleasure. Kierkegaard seems to think that the ethical person can also partake in elements of the aesthetic life. In the ethical stage, one is devoted, comitted, sees the importance of self-sacrifice. The third "stage" is the "religious" stage. Both the aesthetic and the ethical, if held as independent extremes divorced from the "religious", can be problematic.

I haven't gotten far enough in Kierkegaard to fully understand the relationship between the first two stages and the "religious" stage, but I am working on it. Any help (in the form of comments) would be appreciated! I chose the title because I am fascinated by this interesting distinction--and particularly of K's description of the "aesthete" which reflects a sort of Victorian Dandyism but also points forward to the decadent, depthless world in much postmodern fiction (satirically depicted in Coupland and Delillo's work; even more darkly satirically and graphically depicted in Amis, Palahnuik and Ellis' work). Last, but not least, Elliot Smith has a wonderful album called Either/Or. I love it that this title, Either/ Or, seems to unite the worlds of philosophy, faith, fiction and music--the major focal points of this blog.

Sufjan--Chickens, War, Bathrooms, and God.

2007-04-16T16:49:00.000-07:00

There has been much said in Christian circles about the fact that Sufjan Stevens has told his publicist that he prefers the media not to ask him about his faith in interviews. This seems to have bothered some, caused some to question Sufjan's devotion, given a reason, perhaps, to judge. I was also somewhat puzzled by Sufjan's stance, but have been much more sympathetic with it recently. I appreciate the fact that perhaps Sufjan does not seem to want to have his faith misenterpreted, turned into an evangelistic power point presentation, or, even worse, used as a marketing strategy. Here is an interesting excerpt from an interview with Sufjan on this very subject:
"I'm not an evangelist. I'm a songwriter and a storyteller. If that story happens to be about Christ, then perhaps, in some odd semantic way, the song could be termed 'evangelical'. I gladly accept that. I also sing about divorce. And murder. And adultery. I sing about chickens and war and bathrooms. In my mind, the gospel is not something to pander and pawn off like a diet soda drink. There is no product. There is no selling point."

I appreciate the authenticity of Sufjan's art--an authenticity that is sometimes raw, often delicate, always mysterious. The very mystery of his art, its resistance to becoming a bottled up evangelistic product, is something I respect.

In the same interview, Sufjan explains what he thinks "being born again" means. This phrase, which I am ashamed to say often makes me wince inside because of its near commodification in evangelical Christian subculture--the ease with which it is used--is ultimately mysterious. It cannot be fully explained or understood by converting into formula (no,not even the "four Spiritual Laws" or "Two Ways to Live"). In trying to simplify this phrase, we have stripped it of its mystery. I LOVE Sufjan's wonderful poetic definition--it seems that only poetry can even begin to reawaken our sense of wonder by both disorienting and familiarizing us at the same time. I love the concrete images, the smell and feel of life, that points toward this amazing mystery, giving us a bit of access to it through the poet's imagination. Sufjan again:

"This is what it means to be born again: to fully and completely disengage with the preconceptions and preoccupations of the adult world and its religions, to dismantle all laws - of physics and society - and yield yourself to the birth canal, and what comes after, in which everything begins to shake and tremble with all senses fully turned to the centre of the universe, the creator, God the Father, in whose cultivation we begin to know and understand our true selves, our real selves, as a reflection of God's image, his creation, like newborn babies, full, fresh, suckling, elated and laughing at everything. "